“It’s no big deal, it’s just — we have to go away and...and dream it all up again.”

To quote from a journal entry I made a few months ago:

For the past few days, my focus has primarily been on offline endeavours. I step back online, and within a few hours of operating within the circles I’m in (largely out of lack of knowing what else to do, truth be told), I start feeling horrific again. Tears, anger, annoyance, and zero patience for what may be innocent mistakes. And I’m right back to feeling like a worthless outsider, to boot.

It’s not being online as a whole — I like keeping in contact with friends, I love to code, I love to spend hours with my eyes glued to tutorials, and I love organising and planning different static sites. But there’s a certain...realm...I guess...I kind of have to keep up with, due to the content I create, and honestly, it and the majority of people in it, their careless actions and flippant attitudes have just crushed me. (And I do realise I’m being vague here; I have my reasons. Chances are you know precisely which sphere of the net I’m speaking of, but if you don’t...don’t worry. What it is isn’t really important; what it does to me is what matters here.)

I want eyes on my sites, but I don’t want to be under the constant eye of a digital equivalent of a homeowner’s association with a penchant for favouritism.
I want to make friends and forge connections, but I don’t want to be flavour of the month to someone and snarked about behind my back when they get bored. I don’t want to be carefully put into a place where I can’t defend myself from outright lies.
I want to create, but I don’t want to force myself to fit into a mould that crushes my heart to do so.
I want something real, not just lip service and an “affiliate” link.

This should be fun. This crap? Is not fun.

This...will require fixing.

So I'm going to fix it; Wings will return shortly. Can't say when, as I have a cancer scare, sick relatives, and a career 360º all happening offline. But it will return, eventually. All my creative works will be over at September, you can follow my random statements on Bluesky, or you can email me if there's something urgent/important/hilarious.

See you when I wake up, after I dream it all up again.

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